One mere time, welcome to the last Mark M Racine Writer-in-Residence “zine.”
So, as indicated above, this is my last post as the Racine Writer in Residence — and perhaps some will be relieved!
The posts of my immediate predecessor, Jeanne Arnold, inspired me to apply for the WiR position as did previous WiRs Kelsey Marie Harris and John Bloner including their artwork in their posts. I felt, in my own way, I could do likewise. But until their inspiration, I didn’t think there was enough “writer” in me to even consider the “gig.” For, before this “gig,” it was rare for me even to do much writing save for a few letters per year to the editor of Racine’s Journal Times.
I heartily thank those who chose me for this opportunity, a golden one in my view. I hope if they have any regrets that these are not enough to keep them awake at night.
And I thank all those who read what I had to say even if it was only a little bit of what I had to say.
Many thank yous also to those who took a moment to send a positive comment my way.
I must say, it’s been a lot of fun.
Having an audience brought the “writer” out of me; I never previously realized how long-winded I could be after, for instance, putting out all those laconic chapbooks, though my posts were admittedly often rather “journalistic,” excerpting other writers and so forth.
If I wasn’t to your taste, I hope the next Writer in Residence will fill the bill for you.
If there are any fans out there who want more of me, write me at m.mk at att.net with “WiR” in the subject line, and I’ll commence to make occasional similar posts to my blog which I have heretofore used mainly only as a digital, searchable “clippings” file, and I’ll let you know of a new post in this regard.
I also have newly taken over administration of the website of the Racine Coalition for Peace and Justice and plan to post opinions to a “sub-page” there.
I endeavored when “raging” on some issue to not further rage on the same topic in subsequent posts, though, admittedly, I “raged” any number of times on the ongoing Ukraine all-around tragedy. A peace, always possible, would have shut me up in that regard.
(As a pacifist, I think Ukraine should surrender and then “mobilize” a bunch of these nonviolent resistance ideas. Though it defies consensus, between 1900 and 2006, campaigns of nonviolent resistance were more than twice as effective as their violent counterparts. Here is a link concerning Russia, Belarus, Ukraine COs.)
Thank you and best wishes,
P.S. Debatable point: “All writing is political” according to Black, British author Bernardine Evaristo who I only know about from this To the Best of Our Knowledge radio piece. Despite my proclivities, I don’t know that I’d go that far by making such a statement. In fact, I am glad there is writing that is not political. Why, some of my own goofing around such as in the concluding segment below I regard as nonpolitical.
I profiled Jeanne Denney and her School of Unusual Life Learning (SoULL) in a previous post some time ago and included some of her one-line poems.
Recently, she sent me some Christmas/New Year’s writings (see here and here) including this:
Beginnings have a fragrance
like the earth,
a particular pleasure
Sinking into it
Seeds sprout only in fertile places of decomposition
In stillness, darkness, dankness,
In sung quiet, held waiting
In a matrix that speaks
We lived before you
We became earth
and even the end is just fine
Here to sustain you.
We need that message on the first day
of anything, really.
Maybe especially this one.
(Written for New Year’s Day 2020.)
According to the Rodale Institute, only 0.6% of U.S. farmland is certified as organic. Organic often costs more because consumer demand exceeds supply.
Nader reports: “There are fewer available hospital beds in the US than we had in the nineteen seventies.” And: “For a modest portion of what people are overpaying for their health insurance to a few giant, gouging, wasteful, claims-denying insurance companies, communities can build their own cooperatively-owned primary care hospitals or clinics focused on preventative practices and attentive care.”
WISPIRG reports: A measly 9% of all the plastic we use actually gets recycled. To fix this, make the plastic producers pay: “Producer Responsibility.”
“Female animals are just as promiscuous, competitive, aggressive, dominant and dynamic as males,” writes Lucy Cooke in her latest book, Bitch: On the Female of the Species.
I’m digging (into) this:
Unchecked: The Untold Story Behind Congress’s Botched Impeachments of Donald Trump by Rachael Bade and Karoun Demirjian. Only 677 pages. From the publisher: “The authors pull back the curtain on how both parties pursued political expediency over fact-finding.”
In the preface, the authors assert that “one of Pelosi’s own chairmen warned her against taking procedural shortcuts” and “a conservative House Republican approached Pelosi on the chamber floor to tell her that he was open to impeaching the president — if only she would take the time to run a more complete investigation” — a good idea! and bipartisan!
Instead, we got impeachment on the cheap.
In 1835, the same Treaty of New Echota that created the Trail of Tears, resulting in the deaths of thousands of Native Americans, also guaranteed the Cherokee Nation a delegate in the US House of Representatives. Nearly 200 years later, this promise still has not been kept. Petition here.
Eight journalists were arrested over one weekend of reproductive rights protests this summer.
‘Psyop-cracy’ = Manufacturing Consent
“The truth of the matter is that we’re in a heavily militarized society driven by greed, lust for profit, and wars are being created just to keep fueling that.” —Dennis Kucinich, 2004 and 2008 Democrat candidate for president
The historian Arnold Toynbee cited unchecked militarism as the fatal disease of empires, arguing that they ultimately commit suicide. .
“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.” –Martin Luther King
Not real long ago, I sent an e-mail to a purportedly apolitical person where I criticized the U.S. along the lines I have written in these posts, and she replied rather jumping to the conclusion that I must “hate America.”
These gripes merely point out abundant room for improvement and while perhaps no nation is perfect, as a US/American I don’t feel it is good practice to have a critical focus on other nations to the exclusion of one’s own.
Along these lines, I am not even a Christian, but I heartily agree with this quote from Luke 6:
41 Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? 42 Or how can you say to your neighbour, “Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye”, when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye.
On a lighter note:
Dig: Recording of a “resting” volcano “breathing” at 7:17.
There are at least two sites that try to focus on positive news, Positive.News and Reasons to be Cheerful which was started by musician David Byrne.
And there is YES! magazine.
Positive.News reports Ireland launched a basic income for artists.
Tomorrow (Thursday, December 29, 2022) will be 0 minutes 30 seconds longer (at Racine, WI latitude).
Sunset, same date, is at 4:25 pm, 7 minutes later than the earliest sunset (at Racine, WI latitude) which occurred for a few days before the solstice.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s wasted effort when covering a tune to try to match the original such as closely sticking to the arrangement. Although it certainly takes chops to cover a song in a “verbatim” way, for me, the best covers are when the covering artist rearranges the tune to make it their own while, and this is the tricky part, still having the tune be compelling or at least interesting, for a tune can be assuredly be ruined by a bad cover.
Perhaps the superlative example of success in this is Devo’s cover of the Rolling Stones’ “Satisfaction.” I read that the record label Devo was on was concerned about a bad reaction on the part of the Stones to the rather drastic and very quirky Devo rearrangement, so they managed to have a meeting with some of the members of Devo and Mick Jagger before releasing the tune on Devo’s first album.
I understand any artist can record a cover of any song, that the covering-artist only needs to leave the lyrics unchanged (unless one gets permission to change them like Weird Al does). So this meeting, in those terms, was actually unnecessary.
So the Devo version was played, and after about 30 seconds of it, Mick got out of his seat and started dancing to it.
Devo’s version of “Secret Agent Man” on their second album is a worthy effort too, in my view, as is their cover of “Working in the Coal Mine.” Allen Toussaint didn’t mind one bit Devo’s rearrangement of “Coal Mine.”
If Devo did further covers, I wouldn’t know since I stopped paying attention to them after their third album, which had no covers, by the way.
I like the Clash’s cover of “Police and Thieves” so much that more than once I’ve put it on “endless” repeat.
But the songwriters hated what the Clash did to the tune.
However, I was severely disappointed when I finally heard the original, it’s so fucking wimpy!
Dylan does not feel any need to stick to the original arrangement of his songs.
I was stunned back in the day at the significant rearrangements he did on his first live album, Before the Flood. And he succeeded, for me, at keeping the tunes compelling. But many times, he’s failed at this. However, I admire his willingness to “mess” with his work.
(From Wikipedia: ‘Dylan himself later disparaged that tour with the Band, feeling that it was overblown. “I think I was just playing a role on that tour, I was playing Bob Dylan and the Band were playing the Band. It was all sort of mindless. The only thing people talked about was energy this, energy that. The highest compliments were things like, ‘Wow, lotta energy, man.’ It had become absurd.”‘
(He’s entitled to not like it, but would have he felt better playing the role of, I don’t know, Joe Cocker? Should the Band have played the role of, say, Emerson, Lake and Palmer? WTF is he talking about?)
The Stones will also make some usually fairly subtle rearrangements of their work, just tweaks really, when performing some of their songs live. Generally, I quite like this. Bravo.
I read that a member of Sonic Youth was asked in an interview what was next for the band and he joked they were going to cover the Beatles’ “White Album.” When a member of Pussy Galore heard this, he decided to have his band cover Exile on Main Street by the Stones. When Keith Richards was informed of this in an interview, he asked if Pussy Galore was still together. No. Keith replied, “Well, that’s the trick, isn’t it? To do Exile on Main Street and still be together.” Actually, the band continued on for about four more years after they covered Exile.
I can imagine if you told Keith that Pussy Galore lasted four more years, he’d point out in contrast that the Stones never broke up.
Speaking of Sonic Youth, they covered the song “Superstar,” a 1969 song written by Bonnie Bramlett and Leon Russell with a songwriting credit also given to Delaney Bramlett. The most famous version is by Carpenters (that’s their name, not The Carpenters; their logo was designed by the same guy who designing the Kali-inspired Stone’s tongue and lips logo).
Sonic Youth recorded their version for the 1994 tribute album If I Were a Carpenter. On a November 25, 2009, broadcast of the National Public Radio program Fresh Air, Richard Carpenter expressed his distaste for this version, whereas I love it.
According to Chris Frantz, the drummer for Talking Heads, producer Brian Eno suggested they play Al Green‘s Take Me to the River as slowly as possible but without losing the groove.
I most recently saw King Crimson live in Milwaukee, ca. August 2021. They made some subtle changes to some of their tunes which I enjoyed.
Seems the Beatles did not greatly change the songs they covered. Paul once said one of the spurs that got them writing their own material was when Freddie and the Dreamers stole their arrangement to some song they covered. He mentioned the song, but it was fairly obscure to me, and I don’t recall the title.
Of course, “unknowns” can cover tunes and make them their own.
Kenosha singer/songwriter Lance Laybourn/aka/Bakerloo Line did a great job with “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl),” “Dancing in the Moonlight, “Run Run Run,” originally by Jo Jo Gunne, and “The ‘In’ Crowd” on WGTD’s Noon Tunes program. More recently, he did “Summer Breeze,” Steely Dan’s “Peg,” “September,” and “Ventura Highway.”
I think another local fellow they also have played whose name I’m afraid escapes me did “likewise.” He may have self-described as “folk punk.”
Further Selections from Observations and Thinkings, Vol. wxy&z (2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, and so on)
(As indicated in a previous post, I never “printed” up this chapbook; it is ongoing, the ideas saved to a file and occasionally posted to my Twitter page, @MarkM__ [ https://twitter.com/MarkM__ ] which has a lot of “political pollution” on it such as readymade Tweets organizations urge one to send to someone or other in power. Maybe with Musk’s mess, I’ll post to facebook under Mark M Giese instead.)
alligator — one that alligates
Too + Too = More
burn down vs burn up
That really burns me down!
The arsonist burned the office building up.
Avoid making excuses for others. Let them make their own excuses.
Nat King Cole Porter
Keep the Yule in Yuletide.
Gold, frankincense, and mirth.
I don’t know the names of the streets, but I know where to go.
After the world ends, then what?
Let your a be an a, your b be a b, and you’ll c…
Nothing the politician said was a truehood.
[Guinea pig latin.]
dream come false
Bacon a cake. (Ish!)
I hate to tutor my own horn.
It would take a whole megalopolis to raise that child.
I, the Lady, your Goddess, am an envious goddess.
Why does God let there be evil? God could fix things, but it would just be too much work!
Kingdoom of Hell
It tore me up that they tore down that old building.
To the endth degree.
He broke down crying at the thought of having to break up with his girlfriend.
He, kept, making, comma, faults,,,
Broad daylight / narrow nightdark.
Go to hall.
Rosie, the Rivetress.
Mon D, Tues D, Wednes D, Thurs D, Fri D, Satur D, Sun D.
The raging young man.
Gore cost Nader the 2000 election.
Something’s happening and it’s happening quite now.
Larger than life, smaller than death.
It grows in the avant garden.
Of curse, you can!
Moment of truth, hour of falsehood.
10 o’clock and all is swell!
Your wish is my demand.
Noah’s Ark of the Covenant
Play that junkie music right, boy!
8 dates a week is not enuff to show I care…
The Leaden Rule: “Treat others as you have been treated.”
Be careful what you bitch for.
Awl together now!
Blue is the color of my love’s yellow hair.
I’m an indistinguished member.
I’m an unstrict vegan; I sometimes cave in on cheese.
Bach and roll
Merely food for thought tho some will just get indigestion.
Please give this “food” some chewing (consideration).
Love potion number 9, number 9, number 9…
Better Lou than you! [Lou Reed death]
The Alone Ranger
Down and out or up and in?
We are all children of God and some are younger than others.
Can you dink it?
The earth is my mom.
Some people went to bat for Jackie Robinson.
Like shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys.
Ladies’ man – gentlemen’s woman
Thanks for stooping by!
Christ on the phone…
Those weren’t the days…
Straight shooter gay shooter crooked shooter
First of the Mohicans.
Marilyn Monroe indoctrination
Marilyn Monroe Doctrine
Some people march to the beat of a different percussionist.
A weatherperson’s crystal ball is always at least partly cloudy.
Occam sock ’em robots
My dog has fleece.
Jeez Christ, What a Star (is Born).
How Green was My Valley of the Dolls.
They got some crazy women there; I’m gonna get me 66.
Behind every great man is a woman – or a gay lover.
This little blight of mine, I’m gonna pay it no mind…
The pigs have come home to root.
Cecils gripped my flesh.
I didn’t cry me a river, but I did cry me a babbling brook.
The live-long day; the die-short night.
In the fairly good old summertime.
In the bad old wintertime.
Wild goose chase; tame gander capture.
He doesn’t want your hellp.
Lies that blind.
In your pipe dreams.
Did Pete Seeger ever get a hammer – or a bell?
The gathering of janitors soon turned into a giant mop scene.
Camptown racists five miles wrong, do-dah, do-dah…
Was it a scam or a sham?
The chickens were engaged in fowl play.
Eyes on the price.
oyster – one that oys
The ill-tempered clavier.
My dog has flaws.
Nothing of the snort!
“And, after my talk, if time permits, I’ll take your stupid questions,” saided the egotistical speaker.
Ballad of a slim man
It’s friendly fascism because they want to sell you something (corporations).
When trees turn bright colors, it’s beautifall.
Yawning at the dawning…
Thyself is full of thee.
Do what you love, the honey will follow.
The malformative years.
A deformative event from his past…
rollin’ & rockin’
I want to show her how much I don’t care.
The argument to end all arguments.
Cat Fancy magazine — kitty porn
Stand high, lay low.
Like water off a duck’s bath.
Shop till you drop acid.
Better nip that in the butt.
Work hard, play soft.
Plant bird seed, grow a bird!
No Man’s Land – some feminist place?
piccolo – flutation device
…and now without further ado, I’d like to say one more thing…
She’s a QD!
Count the hands on one finger.
And she’s buying a staircase to heaven.
It was a logical mistake.
He’s all lonelyated.
brake your heart
So Bright Boys Play Black [from a dream]
Song: “If I had a Hamper…”
I think I can learn from all your big mistakes.
Palm vs sole Sunday.
It has the smell of Jesus Christ.
Were Adam and Eve actually married?
Deep in the forest, there was an owl movement…
Your thoughts aren’t worth the paper they would be printed on if I hit “Print.”
I Sing the Body Electronic
The Wrist Band
The Waist Band
Putting two and two twogether…
In his own mind, his holdings of imaginary estate were quite vast.
Up the insect’s frasshole.
Computer-file back-up: good!
Sewer back-up: not so good.
Hollywood role call.
Of course I toot my own horn. Letting someone else toot it is inviting germs!
Where the vile things are.
To the mouths of babes.
Limiting lack of attention
The Electoral College. Ah, yes, the wisdom of the founding pappies.
the Founding Fathers — those rich slaveholders who gave us the Electoral College.
Eat the molecule.
He wanted to grow up to be a second responder.
I’m suffering from wipe outage.
Wilt thou, O plant?
Dance of the Sugar Beet Fairy
Obesity is a big problem!
“Cain vs. Abel — the Real Story”
When Cain learned that Abel f*cked one of their sisters, he was enraged.
Abel protested, “But how else are we going to carry on the family name?”
(God, hearing everything, thought, “Jesus! I never thought of that!”)
But Cain would not be persuaded.
And, with that, Cain slew Abel.
He’s a real committee player.
Son of Frankenstein
Grandson of Frankenstein
Great Grandson of Frankenstein
and so forth.
You shouldn’t always do what you should do.
Drive reckfully, not wreckfully.
Fecalware — software that’s hardly worth a shit
Feeling the Bernard.
Loincloth — butt scarf
To everything, U-turn, turn, turn…
The chalkolate doesn’t taste very good.
The Flying Dutchperson
Donathan & Jonald
Like a red, ruptured ball…
Nowe & thehn
What is not written on the wall must be off the wall.
Her breasts are the ample of my eye.
Prophets of dumb
Freedom vs. Liberty
The datum was an outlayer.
I fought my lawyer and my lawyer won.
I fought the law and the law beat me.
In this day and also age…
Hippies who turned Republican — volte fascists.
When something is free, one is automatically getting one’s money’s worth.
Last but not in the least.
The long, unwinding road…
Half listening to Dem convention on NPR.
A number of speakers keep saying that the US is the greatest nation.
And, oh, so modest.
Go into Labor Day.
I figure I won’t vote for the lesser evil but will vote for the least evil!
From a ca. 1989 The (something):
God was having a really bad day. Everything was going wrong. And to top it all off, He accidentally damned Himself. Now what was He going to do?
Oh, isn’t she sweet, see her walking down that street…
For bad things, better never than late.
If something is very cool, is it then cold?
On his deathbed, he said, “I’m going to meet my manufacturer.”
She was in position, whereas he was dispositioned.
Since G W Bush wanted to be a wartime president and was one, that would seem to make him a US warlord.
Is a Norwegian from Norwegia?
Marijuana calls the nettle green.
Asia Minor and Asia Major
Papa Oom Mao Mao
US(A) — Birthplace of rock and (also) roll.
I Sing My Buddy Electronic
Take me out to the bowl game…
Between Iraq and a hard place.
Imaginate the impossible.
Our founding fathers, whom art in heaven…
The Small Bopper
Cock of Ages.
She lived at 1024 Busy Street.
Good date sunshine
Briefcase filled with packages of underwear.
Heaven or low water
Like a rhinestone cowpoke…
He’s so frightening, he’d make a rooster lay an egg.
He was determined to reach Kenoshia, Wisconsin before the arrival of the Appellation Spring.
He was constantly listening to the sweet music of Franz Scherbert.
At some of Trump’s rallies, he encouraged that protesters be beat
up and offered to pay the legal bills.
Probably Hitler wouldn’t make such an offer.
wrap music – the finale.
Who won the foot bowl game?
Do football players get paid overtime when a game goes into overtime?
“Don’t be so afraid of making a mistake.” –Seth/Jane Roberts
“Don’t be so afraid of making a big mistake.” –Mark M
Pure as the drifted snow.
6 of one, half a dustbin of the other.
Bop music vs. pop music
It was very biz-czar.
I hope you’re on the road to recovery and in the fast lane!
He’d give you the surety off his back.
Free as a slave.
The people at the post office were talking in zip code.
Did Hitchcock use a cattle prod on his actors?
A Hollywood following man.
Oh, let me be your Theodore Bear.
I found your thrill on Hackberry Hill…
Good grief vs. bad joy
Poppa’s Got a Brand New Hag
Poppa’s Got a Brand New Baggie
Poppa’s Got a Brand New Sack
Poppa’s Got a Brand New Jag
Poppa’s Gotta Brand New Rag!
Beer Barrel Roll Polka
The Easter Rabbit
A truly Christian pizza has a Jesus Crust.
Drive wrecklessly, not recklessly.
Thanks one millon!
Everything’s new over the sun.
Low spark of high-strung boys.
Go to hill.
A restroomaurant serves shitty food.
Question to Trump-lovers during his term: Are we great again yet?
This land was made for you and also me.
Hello, Dorkness, my old friend…
Stomp and go
Lived in, died out.
Repel, Repel, your face is a mask…
All the leaves are brown, all the skies are great.
Band on the Rut
The beat goes onwards, the beat goes onwards…
Let It P
The farmer inside the dell…
I’ve never been better — unless I am just suffering from bad memory!
I want to tell you; I feel hanged up, but I don’t know why…
This is the date that the Lord hast made…
God has it made.
Sgt. Pecker’s Only Heart Scrub Bland
I’ve got one mere silver dollar, but I’m not gonna let ’em catch me; no, I’m not gonna let ’em catch the middle-of-the-night rider…
You’ve lost that lovey feelie…
Dry as a bun.
Every day, in every way, I am getting my shit together.
A TRUE religion should be FUN.
How many are?
He said she gave really good below jobs.
You blight up my life; you give me dope to carry on…
He’s no dude, he’s just a dud.
Native Americans didn’t cultivate lawns.
Imagine a tipi with a plot of grass in front of its door.
She met a guy she had no reservations over and dug, and he cut hair, so it was: “hippity hop to the barbershop” for her!
smash and burn
He played follow guitar.
My goodness, your badness.
I can take it or leak it each time.
I can take it or leech it each time.
What a pinochlehead!
Slipping into dorkness.
God damn daddy.
The Mommas and the Poppas
Dork Side of the Moon
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme (is Money)
Grrrl from the North Country
The Great American Novle
Stuffed with stuff.
Front and senator.
Imaginate a jumping turtle.
It don’t mean a thing until the fat lady sing.
Take the long cut.
Plaster of Berlin
Take the antidose.
What about the Golden Screen?
Her husband was named Mickey, Mickey spouse.
As long as he goes off full-cocked, then it’s alright.
Give your sour time.
Quipley’s “Believe it or F*ck Off.”
Crutch the sky.
Object of inattention.
God is not japed.
Well, I got down on my knees, and I began to prate.
Racine — on the lake
and on my mind…
Lumberjack and Lumberjill went up a tree to fetch some pine cones.
’Jack fell down and broke his crown and ’Jill did too.
It isn’t what it isn’t.
Round of applause, square of boos.
He went to a Poison Ivy League School.
Natural Supernatural Subnatural
Shake, Rattle, and Also Roll
Rocket Man is Jet Boy’s father.
Bees and thank you.
Happiness is a warm gun-
Play it once again, Samuel.
As time goes bye-bye.
Don’t mutter, utter.
Morning has brokenated, like the first morning. Blackbird has spokenated like the first tern…
Poppa! Our son has returned from the New Country!
Stomp in the name of love…
More than a feelie…
The National Association for the Advancement of Colorful People
From a dream:
Not since tomorrow.
The car was dark black in colour. Light black?
Denise, da niece.
I am the daughter of the Sergeant Head of time.
Don’t you come home, Bill Bailey. Don’t you come home.
Dark matter and dark energy are the fairy dusts of present-day cosmology.
It never occurs to the astronomers that perhaps the Doppler shifts they are seeing are no more real than the apparent puddle in the road up ahead on a hot summer’s day.
Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any fleece?
New Testament of Orpheus
Cecils gripped my flash.
Strange jeers in the night…
Easy go, easy come.
Peas with black eyes.
Hey, Mrs. Tambourine Woman, don’t be strong with me…
Hey, Mrs. Tambourine Woman, don’t be wrong with me…
Dance in my pants.
Mama, come here quickly! Gimme that sticky wicket.
On the plain, there was a hill shortage. [From a dream.]
It was the best of times. It was the second-best of times.
The future’s not ours, Twosie.
I wonder what Donald Trump will be when he grows up.
Not filthy rich, monetarily obese.
I worked there 4T years.
So, Rome was built in two days?
Rebel, rebel, your face is a mass.
Close quarters – distant dimes.
In a music store, a man playing a guitar:
Belligerent onlooker: “Is that all you can play?”
Reverse psychology joke:
“I can’t even play what you heard me playing!”
“You stupid idiot!”
“I’m even stupider than that!”
“I could beat you up!”
“You could probably beat me up with both hands tied behind your back!”
God is lust.
Don’t think thrice, it’s alright.
She loves you affirmatively, she loves you affirmatively…
I Will(iam) Tell him.
Jellyfish, jamfish, marmalade fish.
yesterday yesterweek yestermonth yesteryear
Living the dream, dying the nightmare.
Blondie on Blondie
A baker’s dustbin.
Yep, we have no bananas.
Superman with a paunch.
C’mon, baby, like my fire.
Graffiti for restroom: If you’re happy and you know it, crap your hands.
In this age and day (and era).
She has a heart of cold.
I can’t keep down with you.
That magic moment.
No one showed up for the show down.
While My Guitar Gently:
While my sitar gently bleeps….
Move and remove.
My country, it is of ye.
My country, it is of you.
Like a bat out of heaven.
Like a bat out of heck.
His cat down and lived.
Leave no stone upturned.
Lie, lady, lie. Lie across my big, crass bed…
Lie, lady, lie. Lie across my big-ass bed…
We are like shifts in the night…
Dancing in the moodlight…
Musical matriculants: The Enrolling Stones.
Fast asleep, slow awake.
Cellist in the Basement
I hear that train climaxing.
Clinks in his armor.
Careful with that ask, Eugene.
No one is above the law except for this notion that a sitting president cannot be indicted.
After the wedding, eat, drink, and be married.
First she jected me, then she rejected me.
One big traffic preserves.
Wrongly on the right end of a gun…
Gentle Upon My Mind
Beer Baron Polka
He’s a big and also fat liar.
Chasten down the wind.
Loosen up, tighten down.
I’m just itching to go to the flea market.
fast faster fastest
best bester bestest
Made by the whitesmith
New hip single.
Aw, I ain’t gonna work at Maggie’s firm no more.
I’m gonna bite me a dog.
The Easter Eggs were all carefully hiddenated.
I was relieved when she shot me a clean look.
He was always playing opossum.
Have a spot of beer.
Lissen to Ernest Walmford’s Greatest Hints.
GEP – Greater-Evil Party, the Republicans
In 1979, the people of Iran said, “Shah Nah Nah.”
The by-laws underwent a complete updation.
I didn’t love Lucy.
The guitarist was considered a prime exponent of junk rock.
Wild and wooly, tame and silky.
We aren’t too long, and then we’re gone.
Incensed and peppermints.
A 360-degree turn is easy to make in a round-about.
Has this ever happened to you? You are happily eating corn with a young bear directly beneath you. You spill some corn resulting in corn on the cub.
He utterly wore out the welcome he never really had.
Is this incest? He kept getting aunts in his pants.
“Lie down in the kitchen.”
spread out the word
Say it like this: Get your kicks on “rowt” 66.
Half-Full Tilt Boogie or Partial-Tilt Boogie
Glass Half-Full-Tilt Boogie
To be sung by a woman or gay guy:
Love, love me, dude…
Not so many: Every other Tom, Dick and Harry (Thomas, Richard, and Harold).
Prostitutes’ Take Your Kid to Work Day.
Sit down and sit up!
Christianity — religion that tries to make sense of the Bible
Judaism — religion that tries to make sense of the first half of the Bible
Islam — religion that tries to make sense of the Koran
Mormonism — religion that tries to make sense of the Book of Mormon
(and so on)
Neil Young should have made it: “Down by the river, I shocked my baby.”
autonomous vehicle — auto auto
the difference is different
Actually, my worst nightmare is not that bad.
G0D vs. GOD.
The situation they found themselves in was very nerve cracking.
There was no problem whatsoever; everything was in-whack.
It sounded exactly like 3 hands clapping!
If you’re gonna love your country, just make sure it loves you back.
Did he boink her or doink her?
The popular performer was quite bashless.
When you are out of his sight, you are out of his out-of-his-mind mind.
When you wish upon a supernova…
Short guy: Five Foot Father
He was like a father figurine to the youth.
Everything’s funky dory!
Hot off the press; cold on the pen.
Lo, but try not to behold. It’s rude to stare.
As to Nazi propaganda… Ja, Reich! (said completely derisively)
If I had Maxwell’s Silver Hammer, I’d … melt it down.
He was the scuttlebuttocks of all my jokes.
The devil’s in the details and Jesus is in the generalities.
Heaven bent for Naugahyde.
Heaven straight for Naugahyde.
Too much information inadvertently requested:
“Oh, little Billy, what does your father do?”
“He works third shift at a factory that makes sex toys! He says it’s a tough job but someone has to do it.”
“He can probably get you a good deal on most anything.”
”Er, that won’t be necessary.”
“You probably have enough of that stuff already, I’ll bet!”
“Um… Oh, look over there!”
If I had a sickle…
Alleluia, I Love Her So!
In the sunsheen of your love…
Don’t put off until the day after tomorrow what you can do tomorrow.
“Atheists just make my job easy.”
Countdown: V, IV, IIV, IIIV, I.
I’m going to Canvas City.
Canvas City, here I come.
They got some crazy little women there,
And I’m going to get me
Clean but not squeaky.
Who was on first?
I have held some women — at arm’s length.
The Lord is my sheepherder.
She was a prime exponent of toxic femininity.
A coarse downstanding citizen.
A coarse downsitting citizen.
He’s such a stupid idiot!
No, no, he’s an idiot, but he’s not stupid.
Feel free to chime out.
Deep Purple Haze
Deep Purple Rain(drops)
She was ruthful about being kind.
Peter out, Pat in. Pan in?
Widow widower widowest
A protection racket offered to protect his heart.
It’s like Elhanan and Goliath. (2 Samuel 21:19)
He had the constitution of a horsey.
The full-wit and the quarter-wit had trouble relating.
It was only a starboat but at least that’s better than a starraft.
It wasn’t clear if she was a caregiver or a caretaker.
Don’t worry, the color is fastened.
Heroin dab in the middle.
Breadth of fresh air.
You Monegasque! (Sound bad? It is — it’s a person from Monaco!)
Don’t worry, he’s only a little shot.
A lot of politicians are soul sellers in pursuit of their unholy grail.
Follow the monkey.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall and a pretty good autumn (too).
Over the counter and thru the goods, to Grandmother’s house this goes…
Everyone and every too.
Parent or guardian angel.
Get away, in a manger.
Let sleeping dogs tell untruths (when they wake up).
On the Streak Where You Live.
You gotta wonder about amazing shit.
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