I dreamt that I was walking down the halls of an unfamiliar school. The school may have been unfamiliar but the way that I carried myself in my pupil days was not. 

I’ve always had a big spirit, but growing up I didn’t always know that or know my purpose or how valuable it was. I just knew that I was a popular loner. My light attracted everyone. I was cool with someone from literally every social group there was in school. I was known. Which was ok but I wanted so badly to shrink into myself, in my own little world. I daydreamed so much growing up. Especially in school. It was easy to create different scenarios, in different worlds to escape my own reality. Unless I was in classes that involved some form of art. Then I was present. Art, English, creative writing, photography, radio & television, yearbook, Shakespeare, cooking/ home ec, Hero co-op, oh and sociology… I was present and thriving in those classes. During passing time I walked the halls with a book in hand, to go hang/stand around other “popular” kids. Definitely the oddball sometimes.

Back to the dream.

I’m my typical teenage self. Walking down this unfamiliar hallway with this familiar energy. Big spirit/personality hidden by a book in hand and beats headphones around my neck. Appearing or at least trying to appear “busy”, “unapproachable”, or “uninteresting” I dunno. Save me! Bring me out of my shell! Burst my imaginative bubble that I’ve created as a safe space so that I am not heard or seen. Which works sometimes. Most times, my light is so bright that people still always make eye contact, smile, nod, do some kind of gesture to “wake” me up. Spark up a conversation. A reminder that I can’t really shrink myself and escape this tug in my spirit to show up and show who I am. They already SEE you, or as my teachers would say, “ I see so much potential in you”. That’s code for, “I see your light, your greatness, but I also see the pain in your eyes from hiding”. At least that’s how I interpreted it.

Back to the dream.

I’m my typical teenage self. Walking down this unfamiliar hallway with this familiar energy. I’m wearing my dirty chucks because why not. Im sure when I leave school I’ll be going to the park, or running up and down the train tracks. Baggy ripped jeans to hide that I am becoming a full shaped woman. A crop top tshirt to show that I am becoming a full shaped woman. Typical of me. Torn between wanted to be seen and heard, and well, hiding myself. My hair pulled up into a bun because I couldn’t dare let anymore see how it was beautifully coiled, spiraling up to reach the heavens. My antennas. A way for me to phone home and ask God, “what am I supposed to be doing here again?” “Are you sure they’re not going to think I’m weird or different because I talk to you in my heart and you respond?” “Will these, humans, make me out to be crazy?  if I start sharing my dreams, vision and other things that you tell me, God?”. Yeah, my antennas, I mean my curly hair. Was pulled up into a bun. My Gold jewelry on that I always wear because it reminds me of the warmth of the sun, and it compliments my skin tone.

Back to the dream.

Im my typical teenage self. Walking down unfamiliar hallways with this familiar energy. I enter what appears to be a cafeteria. Other “students” are present. I don’t know any of them. Awkward. Just like me so I guess it’s ok. This cafeteria was different. There was an area where food was being served, a dining area, a study area and dance floor with a live DJ. Naturally I gravitate towards the DJ. Music helps with escaping from reality. I can pretend to be anywhere I want. When I’m at home the room turns into a stage and I’m performing in front of thousands of, humans. But here? I wouldn’t dare. I can’t show these humans that I can dance, sing, and write poetry. Absolutely not! So I’ll just play it cool. Bop my head, a little bit. Sway my hips, a little bit. Two-step, a little bit. Come out of my shell fully? Absolutely not. Typical. But something happened in this dream. The DJ played one of my favorite songs and looked me in my eyes as if to say, “I dare you to be free!”. Challenge… not accepted. The dance floor is empty which means I would draw attention to myself. They’ll be watching me. Nope! Not gonna do it. Typical. I always shy away. But then! Here comes the DJ pulling me to the dance floor to dance. I hesitate because WTF. This is my song tho. So I oblige. Not the please him but to free myself. I start two-stepping and singing to Keith Sweat- Right and wrong way. I quickly zone out and get taking away by the vibe of the music until I hear someone say, “I see you Chuck Taylor”.  To my surprise, I didn’t get all weird. I just opened my eyes to see where the voice was coming from and whose voice was it. When I looked around other humans were joining me on the dance floor. I simply embraced the moment, the energy, the art and the humans. I surrendered to being seen. When I came to that realization, I woke up. Woke up singing the lyric, “you’re a big girl now, no more Daddy’s little girl”.

Back to reality.

I received a lot of different messages from this dream. I won’t share them all because dreams are sacred to me. But I had permission to share the visual and this one particular message. Sometimes we’re so abundantly gifted by God that we don’t fully understand or comprehend on how to receive the gifts, embrace the gifts, master the gifts and showcase them to the world in order to inspire others and show them just how mighty and beautiful Gods creation and creativity is. We hide or shrink ourselves out of fear and that is the opposite of Gods unconditional love. In order for this physical world to come into fruition, it had to be thought of first. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. In short, what I am conveying is, it’s ok to create and express yourself in your INNER world but then you have to project outwards to fully experience it. That’s the true power in creativity and being an extension of God, the Creator. Fully experiencing the omnipresence of itself.

May this message find you well, creative, confident and expressive. I love you as I love myself… In Christ. 

– Earth Talinna

* Pictured is young Talinna, sophomore year. Park High School. Book in hand.